I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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