when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
