You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
