If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
