if i can run in heels then i can drive
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
