you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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