So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
