I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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