we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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