Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
worst night to have a conscience
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
