i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
