Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
