What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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