I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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