I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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