dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
