xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
