i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
