I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she smelled like a LAN party
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
