At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
