Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
