so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
