direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
