If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize