Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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