I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
