i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
