But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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