im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
