I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
