my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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