Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
