there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
