Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize