Having a random hookup so left but love u
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
