we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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