So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
