i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
