Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
