Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
