the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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