i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
