It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
