no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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