Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize