Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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