Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
