Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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