I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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