I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
