so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
