His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
