16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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