There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
