While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My penis needs a shock collar
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
