It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ketchup is God's man juice
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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