If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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