Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
