I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize