Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
