So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize