I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
