There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what day is it and did you see me today?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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