just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
