is wine microwaveable?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
