You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
