sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i think i just lost a toe
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
