false alarm. still invincible.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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