The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
