Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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