I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
