he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
