the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize