and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to align my fucking chakras
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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