I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
