I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize