we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
